There's a Chinese saying illustrated in [[🎬 The Farewell]]: > When people get cancer, they die. This fear driving this situation[^TheFarewell] can be modelled and explained using the [[Self-Coaching Model]]. ### Circumstances Billi's grandmother (Nai Nai) is brought to the hospital by her grandmother's sister (Little Nai Nai). Nai Nai is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. The doctor tells Little Nai Nai that Nai Nai may only have a few months left to live. ### Thought There are many different ways to interpret this circumstance. However, the fear is that if Nai Nai were to learn of this diagnosis, she might think things like: - This is unfair - What's the point now - This is out of my control - Nothing I do matters anymore - Medicine won't work anyways - I don't want people to see me like this (i.e. sick, weak) ### Feeling These thoughts may create feelings like: - Fear - Grief - Anger - Regret - Anxiety - Despair - Sadness - Hopelessness ### Actions These feelings may drive actions like: - Eating poorly - Not exercising - Isolating herself - Refusing treatment - Lashing out at people - Pushing loved ones away ### Results These actions may lead to things like: - Hopelessness - Social isolation - Deteriorating health All of which reinforce the thoughts that started the cycle. [^TheFarewell]: ![[The Farewell - Billi's family conceals the grandmother's terminal diagnosis]]